Wednesday, 17 May 2017

Dirty Tackle (Wychwood)

Dirty Tackle (Wychwood)
Name: Dirty Tackle
Label: "A solid looking amber beer - Ruck and maul & grab the ball"
Brewery: Wychwood Brewery
ABV: 4.0%

Tasting notes: "Avoid the scrum & make sure you score an early try with this winning full-bodied malty beer.  It's clean citrus aroma will tackle your taste buds & kick it's opponents into touch."

Game: There's something a bit wrong with Mass Effect Andromeda but it was still enjoyable for the most part. The main issue for me though was the priority missions seemed under-cooked and the experience was padded out with some of the most inane fetch quests ever committed to video game. Was too much development time spent on multiplayer rather than making sure the single player campaign was on point? If so then STOP. STOP STOP STOP. It's a Mass Effect game. A single player story driven RPG at it's core.  If there's demand for a multiplayer experience set in the Mass Effect universe then do that as well, but as a standalone game like Titanfall or Star Wars Battlefront. CD Projekt Red showed everyone how it's done with Witcher 3. Do it like that in future please.

Final definitely definitive rating: 6.5 / 10 (could do better, see me - Ed)

Thursday, 11 May 2017

Golden Ale (Tesco)

Name: Golden Ale
Label: "Smooth & malty with a citrus hop aroma"
Brewery: Tesco
ABV: 4.0%

Tasting notes: "A well-balanced golden ale characterised with a refreshing citrus zest derived from a blend of hops."

Game: Apparently the new Need for Speed game due out later this year will have a "single player offline mode" and a "pause" facility.  This is absolutely groundbreaking stuff. So the single player "offline mode" means that you get to play the game without having to wait for a connection to a session and you don't have to listen to annoying gamers talking constantly, blowing into their mic and playing shit music. The new-fangled "pause" facility allows you to press a button which freezes the game at the very point you pressed the button. This should be useful as we will now be able to go for a poo or get more beer from the kitchen and when we get back to our seat the game will still be frozen in exactly the same position as when we left it.

Rating: 10 innovations out of 10

Thursday, 4 May 2017

India Pale Ale (Tesco)

India Pale Ale (Tesco)
Name: India Pale Ale
Label: "Water, Malted Barley & Hops"
Brewery: Tesco
ABV: 4.7%

Tasting notes: "Brewed with English barley malt, delivering a full-bodied bitterness and a distinctive hoppy aroma."

Game: Giana Sisters: Twisted Dreams - Director's Cut is the newun on Games with Gold. I never played Great Giana Sisters on the Commodore 64 sadly. Although I did believe the lies that Nintendo sued the developer because it was a Mario rip-off.  Turns out Nintendo didn't sue, they just threatened them [careful, we don't want a lawsuit off Nintendo - Ed] Sorry, I meant Nintendo 'urged them to withdraw the game'.  Anyway, 21st century Giana Sisters is a great platformer, which looks absolutely stunning. And it's another one of those where you need to flip between different versions of the environment in order to progress. Nothing like Mario *pulls tongue out at Nintendo then quickly hides behind sofa*

It's a Me, 7/10

Monday, 1 May 2017

Cwrw Idris (Tomos Watkins)

Cwrw Idris (Tomos Watkins)
Name: Cwrw Idris
Label: "The Great Ales of Wales"
Brewery: Tomos Watkins
ABV: 5.2%

Tasting notes: "Despite the Kaiser's apparent personal grudge against Able-Seaman Idris Parry, having torpedoed and sunk him not once but twice, Idris' extraordinary inherent buoyancy enabled him to survive and go on to establish the Hurns Company in Wales. He maintained that his extravagant enjoyment of fine Welsh Ales after the Great War was simply to remove the lingering taste of sea water. 'Cwrw Idris' is intended to honour all members of our Armed Forces and we are sure that Idris would approve of his legacy, the Great Ales of Wales!" That's the info on the bottle, re: taste I get a full hoppy flavour with burnt toffee and chocolatey notes.

Game: Trying to play Monkey Island 2: Special Edition without using a guide. Pretty much impossible cos thick. Already used a guide to get Largo's spit off the wall. The answer always seems really obvious after you've cheated. Then you think,

"MeWhy did I cheat and use a guide?  I could have figured that out.

Other me: Oh no you couldn't, because you're thick. Plus you already played it in the 90's and you still can't remember what to do.

Me: Yeah but that was like 25 years ago.

Other me: Yeah but you're still a stupid turd".

and so on and so forth. Anyway, these remakes are great and it's a neat touch that you can switch from fancy new graphics to the original graphics. More of these please!

Rating: 9 infuriating puzzles out of 10.

Saturday, 29 April 2017

No. 6 - The Ginger Grizzly (Hatherwood)

The Ginger Grizzly (Hatherwood)
Name: The Ginger Grizzly
Label: "No, 6 - Alcoholic Ginger Beer"
Brewery: Hatherwood
ABV: 4.0%

Tasting notes: "This Ginger Grizzly Alcoholic Ginger Beer has been blended to give a light effervescence with natural ginger essences from around the world giving a refreshing and zingy lemon taste with a tongue-tingling warm spice finish. Pour over ice and garnish with fresh lemon for the prefect serve"

Game: There's nothing wrong with Mass Effect Andromeda... but it just got a tad boring and Assassin's Creed Rogue is now available on backwards compatibles. And it doesn't take much for GamingAles to have an excuse to replay Assassin's Creed games.

Revised Mass Effect Andromeda rating: 6.5 fetch quests out of 10

Thursday, 23 March 2017

No. 5 - The Purple Panther (Hatherwood)

The Purple Panther (Hatherwood)
Name: The Purple Panther
Label: "No. 5 - Porter"
Brewery: Hatherwood
ABV: 5.0%

Tasting notes: "This Purple Panther is dark, silky and deeply delicious. This full-bodied and muscular blend has coffee roast bitterness at its core. Speciality sugar adds a distinctive toffee flavour to this sleek and smoky malted porter."

Game: SO we got our Mass Effect Andromeda review code (also known as Play First with EA Access) and we're well impressed so far. Not seen any problems with how characters' gobs move or any other bugs or glitches that everyone seems to be moaning on about. The opening few hours reminds us quite a bit of the first Mass Effect, but with way snazzier graphics. And a different story. And different characters. Full review coming not very soon, because the game is quite big.

Initial rating: 8 probiotics out of 10

No. 4 - The Ruby Rooster (Hatherwood)

The Ruby Rooster (Hatherwood)
Name: The Ruby Rooster
Label: "No. 4 - Ruby Ale"
Brewery: Hatherwood
ABV: 3.8%

Tasting notes: "This Ruby Rooster Ale is a bold and proud British classic, craft-brewed using Burton water and 100% British barley. A blend of Pale, Crystal & Chocolate malts deliver a delicious toffee malt flavour ensuring that this ale sits right at the top of the pecking order."

Game: Yet another free game reviewed! Banner Saga 2. Great game, we like the turn based combat, all the powers and horsey people and stuff. The story was incomprehensible gibberish though but we suspect playing the first Banner Saga would help with that. There are some big people, some less big-sized people, a big dude with an arrow stuck him who's kinda dead (?), the aforementioned horsey people, some black armoured baddies and a big snake thing that looks like an eel. Mix 'em all up and throw in some magic and BOOM - a story about travelling across the countryside.

Rating: 7 campsites out of 10

No. 3 - The Amber Adder (Hatherwood)

The Amber Adder (Hatherwood)
Name: The Amber Adder
Label: "Amber Ale - No. 3"
Brewery: Hatherwood
ABV: 4.3%

Tasting notes: "This Amber Adder Ale is a dry-hopped, craft-brewed blend with bite! Lashings of big flavour American hops add sharpness and venom to dark coffee and toffee undertones."

Game: Free game with Xbox Live Gold: Layers of Fear.  Brilliant game, great atmosphere, creepy af. Actually jumped more times playing this than during Resident Evil 7. I did really bad at it too and got the ending that doesn't even class as a proper ending!

8 scaries out of 10

Sunday, 5 March 2017

No. 2 - The Green Gecko (Hatherwood)

The Green Gecko (Hatherwood)
Name: The Green Gecko
Label: "IPA - No. 2"
Brewery: Hatherwood Craft Beer Company
ABV: 5.0%

Tasting notes: "The Green Gecko IPA is a tropical thunder-storm of big flavour new world hops with a peppery lemon zest finish. This unblinking classic is underpinned by a biscuit malt taste, allowing the bold exploration of frontier flavours."

Game: Xbox Live free Games with Gold time! Project Cars is great. It's got cars and race tracks and you drive really fast around the track to get back to the start and if you do this before everyone else then you are the winner. Looks nice, strange music, we like the format better than Forza Horizon 3.

Rating: 8 laps out of 10

Thursday, 16 February 2017

No. 1 - The Golden Goose (Hatherwood)

The Golden Goose (Hatherwood)
Name: The Golden Goose
Label: "Golden Ale - No. 1"
Brewery: Hatherwood
ABV: 3.8%

Tasting notes: "This Golden Goose Ale has been traditionally craft-brewed using Burton water and 100% British barley. Pale and Crystal malts combined with Fuggle and Styrian Golding hops deliver a refreshing and full-bodied flavour showing that this ale is not afraid to stick its neck out!"

Game: This week we've been giving the For Honor Beta a whirl. Firstly, we spotted a typo, they spelt "Honour" wrong... but as it's Ubisoft we'll let them off. Second thing that strikes us about For Honor [sic] is that it feels more like a fighter than a third-person hack 'n slash. That's about it for now folks... [I think we need to write more - Ed]. Erm.. ok, the graphics are great? The full game will have a single player mode but the focus is more on multiplayer? [Enough! - Ed]

Rating: 7 hacks out of 10